Black Naito
by HaikenEdge
Summary: Black Naito chronicles the misadventures of a deceased veteran Marine Force Reconnaissance operative, resurrected to save in an alternative prime material plane resembling a Dungeons & Dragons campaign. Parental Advisory: Explicit Content.


**Black Naito**

**Writer:** HaikenEdge

**Rating:** R, for adult situations, graphic violence and obscene language

**Genres:** Action, adventure, crossover, ecchii, harem

**Disclaimer:** HaikenEdge does not own _Bleach_, _Dungeons & Dragons_, _Mahou Sensei Negima_, or _Naruto_; they belong to Kubo Noriaki, Wizards of the Coast, Akamatsu Ken and Kishimoto Misashi, in that order. Kairu Black-Naito and all other original material appearing in this work are property of HaikenEdge.

This is a work of fiction; none of the things depicted in _Black Naito_ has occurred in real life. Any resemblance to real-life people and events are merely coincidental; that, or an overactive imagination on the part of the reader.

**Author's Notes: **This reads better in Microsoft Word, 10 point Times New Roman with 1 1/4" margins on the side; when in Microsoft Word in the format described, there are no widows or odd line breaks. Feel free to copy and paste this file to Word before reading.

**Prelude**

"Vaporized in a nuclear explosion, 'ay?" Kairu said, reminiscing about his death moments earlier. "Not the glamorous death I always wanted."

"What kind of death did you want, Mister Black-Naito?"

Slowly, the man turned in the direction of the voice and found himself facing three figures enthroned on ornate daises. "One to the head and one to the heart with high-caliber, explosive rounds," he said, miming the firing of a handgun with his right hand. "It'd make a nice spatter." A pause followed as he looked at himself, then immediately turned his gaze back to the seated figures. "Why the Hell am I naked?"

"Hmm… how should I put this?" said the stern man seated on the throne on Kairu's left. "You are currently a soul without a body, it is only natural that you should appear without clothes."

"Hold up… let me get this straight…," he said, holding out his hand to stop the speaker as he digested what he had just been told. "I assume that I'm a soul without a body 'cause I'm dead. Am I right?"

"That is correct," said the figure seated on the right.

"So, this is a projection of my psyche, huh?" Kairu said, once again examining himself. "Well, at least that'd explain why I'm this well hung." When he comment was greeted by silence, he sighed. "All right, then, so what is it that you want from me?"

"Why do you think we would have something to ask of you?" asked the regal woman seated between the other two.

"Cut the bullshit," Kairu interjected. "I don't believe in the afterlife, so the very idea that I'm cognizant after death conflicts with my beliefs. That aside, I do realize that, given my profession, this place seems highly unlikely to be where I'd spend an eternity. It's too nice."

"Is that so?" asked the slovenly man seated on the right. "For all you know, we could be tempting you with false hope."

"Then you don't know me very well," Kairu said flatly. "So, what do you from me?"

"You are a strange one," acceded the stately woman. "How is it that you can live without hope?"

"Hope requires faith in things getting better," said the naked man before pausing. "I lack faith."

"Then why didn't you end your life, if you didn't believe things would get better?"

The bodiless soul smiled sardonically at the disheveled figure's question. "Nietzsche once addressed the issue, but I don't agree with him," he said. "Thinking like a fool does not necessitate acting like a fool. Besides, living without hope does not equate to living without cause."

"Then, you had a reason to live?" asked the woman, seemingly surprised. "What was it?"

"That's really none of your business," Kairu said, abruptly ending the line the conversation had taken. "So, what do you want from me?"

"I am Frevia, Goddess of Balance, and these are my associates…"

"Yeah, yeah, just cut to the chase," the manifestation of Kairu's psyche interrupted impatiently. "Introductions can wait until later; just tell me what's goin' on."

"Impatient, aren't we," said the slovenly man. "To cut things short, we need a champion."

"A champion, eh?" Kairu asked, cocking his head to the side. "God of good or evil, I could understand. But balance? I don't see it. So, enlighten me; why does balance needs a champion?"

"The upper and lower planes are amassing armies, struggling for control of the prime material plane." Frevia said, gesturing with her hand elegantly; as she did so, the scenery around them became a panorama of battles pitting fiend against celestial, human against human, elf against orc, gnome against goblin. "If ever the combined forces of the upper planes and the lower planes were to do battle… the prime material plane will be completely obliterated."

"So, you need me to stop them from having that final, climatic battle, eh?" said Kairu, getting nods of agreement from the three seated figures. "Makes sense, now that you explain it." A pause followed. "What's in it for me?"

"Is a second chance at life not enough?" Frevia asked. "Why do you ask for more?"

"I've been at peace with death since I was a boy," Kairu told the three individuals seated before him. "You're asking that I give up a death for which I have no regrets for the sake of protecting' a world for which I hold no sentiments; it's not even close to an even exchange, and you know it."

"You are a strange one," said the slovenly man. "But your friend mentioned it when we asked him to be our champion."

"Friend, 'ay?" said Kairu. "So, what's in it for me?"

"You certainly stay focused," said Frevia. "We were prepared for this eventuality, and, yes, there is something that you can gain, if you choose to accept our offer."

"And that is?" the bodiless soul asked.

"We are willing to each grant you a wish, so long as the wish falls within one of our realms," answered the stern man.

"All right, then, let's be honest for a moment," Kairu said. "What can't I wish for?"

"But why would you want to know what you can't wish for?" asked the regal lady. "Wouldn't you rather know what you could wish for?"

"On the contrary, a list of what I can't wish for would be conceivably shorter," said the spirit. "Not to mention, I may be able to figure out a workaround for whatever you can't give me."

"Very well. You can't wish for immortality, eternal youth, invulnerability, material objects or abilities that allow you to create such objects," she told him. "Our godly realms govern what we kind of wishes we can grant; I am the goddess of balance, Absolution is the god of law and Entropis is the god of chaos," she added, gesturing first to the stern figure on his left, and then the slovenly one at hers.

"Law, chaos and balance?" Kairu said, incredulous. "What, are they your kids too?"

"How did you know?" she asked, astounded by the dead man's question.

"That's irrelevant," answered back, masking his own surprise by changing the topic. "How about equipment? What's the situation there?"

"You'll have to find your own," the stern man told him, cutting off his mother before she responded. "The drain of creating a body for your soul to inhabit and reuniting them is already too much as it is."

"How 'bout clothes, or is that on me too?" Kairu asked, displeasure evident in his face.

"We can provide you with garments," Frevia said. "What kind of clothing would you prefer?"

"Something that doesn't stand out too much, preferably in black," Kairu told her. "Think you can make something like that without using up too much of your power?"

"That shouldn't be a problem," Frevia said, after a moment's thought. "Anything else?"

"How about my memories? Do I get to keep those?" Kairu asked.

"Yes, those remain attached to your soul and have nothing to do with your physical body," Entropis told the mortal. "Why else would a soul need to drink from the river Styx before reincarnation?"

A moment of silence followed.

"All right, I'll take the job, along with the wishes, which I'm under the impression that I make now, rather than later," Kairu said, expression determined.

"Very well," said Frevia. "And, what will you wish for?"

"I'll start with Absolution first, since he's on my left," said the man. "From you, I wish for loyalty."

"Loyalty?" said the stern man, perplexed. "I don't understand."

"You're not expecting me to win this war by myself, are you?" Kairu asked, a rhetorical question. "What I'm wishing for is loyalty from those who will walk my path at my side; absolute loyalty, bordering on fanaticism and rooted in love."

"Why fanaticism? And why love?" Absolution asked.

"What part of it don't you understand?" Kairu asked.

"I don't understand it at all," said the god of law. "Why fanaticism? And why love?"

"You really don't get it?" Kairu asked, receiving another affirmative from the god seated on the left.

"Then you should observe what happens and find you for yourself, because telling you won't do much."

"But…"

"Look, can you do it, or is it beyond the reach your power?" Kairu asked, irritated.

"Well, yes…"

"Then watch and find out," said the deceased. "Not everything is best explained in words."

"Very well, I shall grand your wish and watch you," Absolution agreed.

"Not me," Kairu said. "The people who choose to join me." Without giving the god of law time to speak, he turned his attention to Entropis. "You, however, are really just giving me a hard time."

"How so?" asked the slovenly god.

"Law I can easily understand, since it's based on rationality," Kairu explained. "But chaos? Entropy? Those concepts are difficult to grasp at best, and mostly, they're just complete mysteries to me. So, working off the first thing that comes to my head, random as it is, I wish for acceleration."

"Acceleration?" asked the slovenly god of chaos, sitting up in attention. "Explain that one to me."

"It's not really something I can explain," Kairu said after a pause. "It's not really acceleration, per se… Like I said, it's hard to explain. But, either way, it defies physical laws."

"And yet, you somehow understand it," said Entropis, smiling almost smugly.

"Well, I was thinking of something like _shunpo_ in Bleach, _shundou jutsu_ in Mahou Sensei Negima, or _shunshin no jutsu_ in Naruto," said the bodiless soul. "That, and because force output equals to acceleration multiplied by the mass of the moving object. So, acceleration is superior to speed."

"Perhaps if you were to show us your memories…," the god suggested.

"Show you my memories?" asked Kairu. "I can do that?"

"Just think of what you want to show, and then project them outwards," Frevia instructed. "It'll work now only because you're in our realm."

"I see," said the deceased. Momentarily, his manifestation of his psyche flickered; then, the panorama of battles faded to black before being replaced by imagery of people moving short distances in heartbeats, with their passage untraceable to the naked eye. "Like so?"

"Very… interesting…," Entropis said, ignoring the man's question. "Yes, I think I can grant you power similar to what I'm seeing here."

"That's great," the man said before turning to the goddess seated between her children. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm working on the assumption that, since you're the mother, you're also more powerful."

"I am, although I fail to see the relevance to the situation," Frevia said, confirming Kairu's conjecture. "What would you wish of me?"

"Lemme think for a moment," he said, the form of his soul appearing to close its eyes momentarily. "Let's see, I've got loyalty and speed… what would go well with those?" A long, silent pause followed as Kairu dug through his memories, trying to think of what would be fitting. "Well, _sharingan_ would be nice."

"Sharingan?" Frevia asked, grievously mispronouncing the term. "What is that?"

"S_haringan_ a genetic condition that causes the human pupil to evolve beyond what it is normally capable of doing," said the spirit, stressing the pronunciation of the Japanese word. "It'd be easier to show you than explain it, so gimme a moment."

Again, Kairu's form flickered, and the panorama of moving figures once again faded away, this time replaced by image of a pair of eyes with scarlet irises and three black tomoe orbiting the pupil in a counterclockwise circuit; though this imagery dominated the majority of the collage, it was attended by smaller images of the owner of the eyes in various acts of foresight and mimicry. Accompanying the visuals was an amount of text with the seemingly most important components being highlighted, either with different colors or sizes.

Looking at the view he had created, Kairu smiled in satisfaction. "Nothing compares to Wikipedia," said the soul. "That, and the fact that I could easily access my subconscious memories; I assume it's a consequence of being dead?"

"That would be true," Absolution acquiesced, seemingly fascinated by what Kairu had conjured forth. "Very interesting ability, this one is."

"And, seeing how you're a god, you instantly comprehend the concept, right?" Kairu asked.

"Yes, that is so," Frevia agreed. "Granting such an ability is within the scope of my power."

"Then it's what I'd ask for," Kairu said. "With loyalty, acceleration, and now the _sharingan_, I should be pretty much set for the assignment."

"Everything you asked for was to assist you with the assignment, then, and not for own personal gain?" Entropis asked, taken aback. "I find that surprising and improbable."

"What's so surprising about it?" Kairu asked. "I don't believe in the afterlife, higher beings or even reincarnation, so the irony of this situation isn't entirely lost upon me. And given that the three things I don't believe in exist, it's only fair to assume other things that I don't believe in exist as well; that's why I made wishes that best prepare me for the situation at hand."

"I see," Frevia said. "Such selfless wishes."

"No, not really," the bodiless soul disagreed. "Completely selfish; with these wishes, I can improve my performance of the assignment."

"In you eyes, maybe," Frevia said. "But I think it's selfless. Just like Mr. Crispin described you."

"So, then, Nick was here before me?" Kairu asked, cocking his head to the side.

"Yes, he recommended you as being more suited for the task," Entropis told the bodiless soul. "In his words, you were always his better at everything. Aside from that, he wished to spend his afterlife with his beloved wife…"

"Sounds just like Nick," said the deceased. "He really loved Mimi; took her death hard. At least he'll be at peace now."

"Yes," Frevia said. "He was so kind as to provide your name and information."

"So then, was it your will that I die?" Kairu asked, suspicious. "Seeing how you're gods…"

"Of course not!" interjected the goddess, indignant. "Such actions would be unbecoming of a goddess. Not to mention that we have no influence over your plane."

"I see," said Kairu. "I'll have to take your word for it, then. So, when can I get started?"

"Once we create a body for you," Entropis explained, "you can enter the prime material plane."

"Let's get started then," Kairu said. "The quicker I start, the more I can do."

"Very well," said Frevia. "Children…"

"Yes Mother," Absolution said, rising from his seat. "Brother?"

"Yeah, yeah," said the slovenly god, lethargically standing up. "I'm ready to begin."

Wordlessly, the two gods closed their eyes, extending their hands, which began to glow softly. Gradually, the bodiless soul began to gain substance, steadily descending until it stood on the ground. Then, the goddess joined in, and the transformation began to quicken, the ephemeral quickly solidifying into the substantial. Within seconds of commencing, the transformation was completed, and the three deities sank into their seats, exhausted.

"Wow," Kairu said, glancing himself over before pinching his own cheek. "_Ite_!"

"I am glad you are impressed," said Frevia, panting, while Kairu continued to examine his new body.

"Yeah, I guess you could call it that," said Kairu, running his fingers through his short black hair. "Explain to me though why I'm now as well-endowed as the manifestation of my psyche was?"

"Firstly, consider it a gift from us to you," Frevia said. "Secondly, it's simply easier to add substance to your soul than to create a new body for you to inhabit from raw energy."

"Therefore, I'm assuming the welfare of my soul is linked to the welfare of my body?" Kairu queried.

"Not exactly the way you're thinking," said Frevia. "Though damage to your physical body will not cause any damage to your soul, if this new body was to die, your soul would also be destroyed along with it."

"That's fine," Kairu said. "I've no intentions of dying again. But about clothing…"

"Give us a little time to rest and recover some energy," Entropis protested, still wheezing.

"Eh, fine," said the black-haired man. "Can I use a mirror real quick? I want to take a look at myself."

"That's not a problem," said Frevia. With a snap of her fingers, a mirrored appeared in Kairu's hands, and he gazed upon his reflection.

"Since when did I become a _bishounen_?" he asked, brow furrowing. "Or was that another part of my psyche that I didn't know about, something like my subconscious desires?"

"Probably something of the latter," said Frevia, to which Kairu sighed. "Are you unsatisfied? Most men would consider themselves fortunate if they were beautiful."

"I don't know," the black-haired man said with another sigh. "I guess I'll have to get use to this face." A pause followed as he looked into his own eyes. "So, this _sharingan_ isn't fully evolved…"

"Is something wrong?" Frevia asked.

"Not particularly," said Kairu. "It'll give me a chance to evolve my own abilities. So, about clothes…"

"Yes, about clothes," Frevia agreed, before making her inquiry. "What kind of clothes do you like?"

"Something dark, with long sleeves and a hood," Kairu said. "That, and it shouldn't stand out."

The goddess of balance nodded her ascent; however, before she could begin, Kairu started to interrupt, then stopped himself, allowing her to wave dismissively. Instantly, mist formed over his naked skin, slowly coalescing into black garments, a long-sleeved cotton shirt and a pair of leather pants, the latter of which was laced up the front. Moments later, a hooded robe formed over his clothes, followed by socks, and finally, heavy-soled boots.

"I guess this'll have to do," said the black-haired man, pulling own the hood of the robe. "So, let's review the mission parameters right quick: my assignment is to prevent any sort of final battle between the forces of the upper and lower planes from occurring, correct?"

"That would be correct," Absolution said, confirming Kairu's thoughts. "However you choose to approach it…"

"Would be up to me," finished the man. "All right, then, I'm ready to start."

"Very well," said Frevia. As she spoke, a portal formed, though what lay on the other side of the threshold remained obscured by the opaque film that seemed to block its entry. "Once you have entered, you will be unable to return here."

"That's fine," said the black-haired man, turned towards the portal and waving backwards. "_Jaa ne_."

Without another word, he crossed the threshold. Instantly, the panorama of words and images gave way to a pair of weathered brick walls on either side, no more than six feet apart; the marble floor beneath his feet became filthy gravel, and the illumination surrendered to shadows, all characteristics of a slum district. Even without looking to either side, Kairu immediately caught sight of the markings typical of gangs marking territory in the corner of his eyes.

However, his eyes remained fixed before him, attention on the quarter-dozen young men slowly picking themselves up off the filthy ground, their expression quickly changing from awe into masks of hostility. After a moment passed without words, the men nodded to each other, then rushed towards Kairu, charging down the narrow alleyway with fists cocked, shouting as they did.

"You have got to be fuckin' shittin' me," said the black-haired man to himself as he prepared to meet the oncoming charge head on. "You've gotta be shittin' me."

**Notes to Reviewers:** Please do not leave requests for updates; updates will occur when HaikenEdge has completed a chapter to his satisfaction. Suggestions and constructive criticism is appreciated, whereas destructive criticism may result in this work to be discontinued.


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